The Last One.

“Spend these three years carefully; you’ll see each day flashing in front of your eyes at the end of these three years.”

I was given this advice when I started college. I am not proud of how well I have followed it.

I had my list of dreams and a bucket list tucked in a suitcase, but I am afraid that I left most of them in there. I abstained myself: I was too scared to do everything I wanted. 

The regret of not getting into my dream college bugged me so much that I failed to live. I am not satisfied with myself, and I am not going to make it appear otherwise. Yes, this is not a sequel pretentious optimistic post and the reader has been warned.This post is my heart crying out. 

I decided in Class 4 that I wanted to become a writer. And I henceforth decided that I wanted to be an entrepreneur. But I had enough excuses to stop myself from doing anything at all that would bring me closer to any of my goals. Not enough time, no good phone, “what if they hate me?”, exams this month, this isn’t good enough an idea, no vehicle, not enough finances, no laptop, now that I have a laptop I don’t have good internet, I’m completely useless, and the list goes on.

One thing I’ve realized is that there is no end to excuses. Period.

The only reason I am not what I wanted to be is that I have not tried. Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

After tens of unfinished drafts, a couple of hours of cyber stalking, and several cups of tea, I am closing this blog. It was started with a lot of people-pleasing and people-appeasing emotions which never allowed me to write what I really wanted. Every line I ever wrote was rewrote with the people centric thought: would they like it? This blog has never been me.

If there’s one thing I’ve realized, it is that trying to appease a few people usually provokes others in ways I’d never thought possible. That, coupled with the fear of failing, has made me abstain myself. 

But no more. :)

A big thank you to all those who have followed me! I shall be back better and finer.

Au revoir!

Bonus: This Switchfoot song. (I am not going to describe it, you just gotta listen to it.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5Gvdgs_R1c

A Foe Turned Friend

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda. He was a snobby, sarcastic new-comer. I was the popular, well-established class monitor. The year was 2009, and we hated each other from the time we set eyes on each other. At least I did. Suddenly all my girlfriends were talking about how nice he looked, and how he was very secretive and how he had a strong, masculine voice that naturally made them swoon! But he didn't speak much, he would just sit all day and this went on for the entire first week, observing everything, getting acquainted to things around. The teachers also seemed to be a part of this. They all wanted to know how he did in his previous school and were constantly checking on his comfort at the present school. I felt agitated and was pissed off. After all, I was supposed to be in the limelight! How could a new-comer take my place? And how dare he was aware of the answers to the questions which I was not aware of? So I was very conflicted and I was revolting to the entire going-on internally. I fought his very presence, acting as if he didn't exist, and when I did acknowledge his presence, it was with a tight-lipped smile and an indifference. I wouldn't hear what my friend's had to say about him, though I would end up listening to bits of gossip about him . It is through them that I gradually learnt things about him! In turned out out we were extremely similar in many regards, the things we liked, we'd apparantely been to the same school, and we lived in the same locality, and we just didn't know each other up until now. A game of fate? Maybe. Also, we also ended up travelling to the school by the same bus. Another revolting two hours where I had to bear his much celebrated presence around me. But something happened, and I still don't think I understand what it was. One fine day, unexpectedly, he asked for a pen during one of the periods, and I ended up asked him for his book in the one of the others. We started talking with each other. And the rest is history!  The human mind is the most incomprehensible and unreasonable thing at times.We hate and love people for no reasons, and, sadly, also judge people without thinking twice.